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You’ve got mail! (Or at least you will soon)

10 Aug

Well, dear reader, I finally did it.

Totally worth the $6

Yes, I finally managed to get my ass to a post office and pick up stamps for my postcard project.

Postcards! For you! (maybe)

Do you know what that means?

This is what mail boxes look like in Canada. See? We're learning!

If you sent me an e-mail asking for a postcard I can now officially assure you that it is IN THE MAIL.

No joke. See that? In. The. MAIL.

ISN’T THAT EXCITING??

Well I think it is. I had a lot of fun picking out and writing each of these cards and I hope that each person who receives one enjoys it too. In fact, I enjoyed sending snail mail SO MUCH that I’ve decided that I’m going to do an open call for the Postcard Project every month. Because, let’s face it, I like being the bearer of good tidings almost as much as I enjoy making people miserable! I’m like Ebenezer Scrooge on that fateful Christmas morning! Merry Christmas, Tiny Tim! HAVE A POSTCARD. (Fun fact: While writing this post I got distracted and wound up checking out what you’ve all been up to lately and LO AND BEHOLD, Bea of The Engagement Project ALSO made a Scrooge reference in a recent post. Woah.)

If postcard participants can do me but one favour (to add some substance to the fact that I’ve just upgraded this from “just randomly sending postcards to blogger friends” to “legitimate Project” status): When you receive your postcard, take a pic of it (you can pose with it, prop it against your cat, stick it in a cake. I don’t really care. Bogus points for creativity!) and then send it back to me. I’ll do a recap of each mailing and link the card back to you’re blog/Twitter account (Don’t worry, I won’t write where you’re from/real name/any personal shiz. Nothing that the internet doesn’t already know, I promise). You don’t have to, I just think it might be neat 🙂

Feel free to drop me a line at any time at yesthisisjam [at] gmail [dot] com if you want to get in on this postcard business.

Extra incentive? Humphrey and the Beaver are still up for grabs.

Ha ha, Humphrey and the Beaver…

Editor’s note: For your peace of mind, no stalking was involved in the Postcard Project, nor will it ever be. Unless you happen to be Megan, but only on good hair days.

This bitch is back in business (miss me?)

28 Jul

I’ve been “out of the office” so to speak since last Friday and, let me tell you, it feels like a hell of a lot longer. Because so much has happened, I’ve decided to jump back into things by providing y’all with a little “The Past 5 Days in Review” post.

You’re thrilled; I can smell it from here.

1) Because I know you’re all dying to know what went down this past weekend when I went to visit my Romantically Challenged BFF, I will not keep you in suspense any longer: It wasn’t all that bad.

Sure, she abandoned me within an hour of walking through her door (after I drove four hours to see her, no less) to go have a heart-to-heart with her 21-year old ex of two days. And, yes, I did have to spend two and a half hours alone watching MTV by myself (Editor’s note: In life, I make a point of never watching MTV. This experience made me feel old and caused me undue stress as it gave me even more reason to fear for the future of humanity). But when another dear friend texted me for drinks and I called her to say “ENOUGH” she, believe it or not, totally obliged.

Yes, dear reader, she actually ENDED the conversation with her ex and CAME HOME so that she could actually SPEND TIME with me. I know this sounds like it should be a given but seriously, this was some major progress for her. AND THEN IT GOT BETTER because when she got back she APOLOGIZED for ditching me and said,

“I’ve been such a moron about all of this. Talking to him tonight made me realize just how not right for me he really it. I’m so sorry.”

And I was all, “Shit, have you been reading my blog?”

And she was like, “What blog?”

And I was all like, “NOTHING.”

Just kidding, no one’s allowed to know about this monstrosity. I to think I was actually THIS close to finally buying a wig this weekend but I wasn’t sure how to explain that one away to her. The last thing I need is for her to randomly stumble across this blog, complete with photos featuring the wig-that-could-have-been, and thinking to herself, “Something about this chick’s sloppy disguise seems awfully familiar…” (Because the detailed descriptions of her romantic tribulations couldn’t possibly give it away. HA HA OH GOD. If you’re reading this, BFF, you know that I love you).

But she did, in fact, drop the guy like a bad habit and we spent the rest of the weekend partying and having a drama-free time and it was awesome.

Seriously.

2) Romantically Challenged BFF may not have been reading my blog, but judging by a recent post by the Comics Curmudgeon himself, Mr. Josh Fruhlinger, has been.

Check out his genius review of a recent instalment of Mary Worth:

You might have to click to get the full impact of how truly amazing it is.

Is he right or IS HE RIGHT?

3) Speaking of previous posts and the interwebz proving points that I made in them: Remember the guy that incited the rage behind this post? Y’know, Mr. I’m-taking-an-indefinite-hiatus-from-Facebook-and-dramatically-announcing-it-to-my-totally-indifferent-friends?

Yeah, well that was Wednesday. He was back by Saturday.

Point = made.

4) When I said that I was going to pick up some postcards while I was away, clearly what I meant to say was that I was going to pick up just one. But that’s okay, because I made sure this one was EXTRA special:

It's a BEAVER, y'all!

First one to claim dibs on this rare beauty gets it.

And on that note, I know that I also said that I would be sending a bunch of cards out to you, my dear readers, on Monday. I haven’t unfortunately, and the reason for that brings us to my next point:

5) Middle Brother backed into my car.

I had maybe been home for three hours on Sunday night and just as I was crawling into bed I heard my mom shrieking at me from the bottom of the stairs. I had parked behind Middle Brother’s car, like I’ve done many times before, but he didn’t know I had come home. He works a night shift so it was already pitch black outside and, running a bit late as he was, he rushed out, jumped into his car and gunned it into reverse – right into the front of mine.

It was a pretty bad scene.

Needless to say, my mobility (and thus my ability to get to a post office) has been pretty limited this week. I think my car is going to pull through but you had better believe that this ordeal has caused all kinds of drama (ironically, not with Middle Brother in the slightest), most of which can be blamed for the fact that I’m only getting back to blogging now. On the plus side, my inability to go places has helped me to save a ridiculous amount of money that I would otherwise be wasting on junk I don’t need. And it’s only been 3 days. Good times.

I guess that’s it for now. As always, if you want to get in on this postcard business, it’s never too late to drop me a line at yesthisisjam [at] gmail [dot] com. Other than that, posts of more substance are coming soon.

P.S. Check out my wicked awesome BlissDom Canada blog badge in the side bar! How wicked is that? Oh, I’ll tell you – It’s MAPLETASTICS, bitches!

Have postcards, will post them

12 Jul

When I was down in DC, I stumbled across the hotel stationary while hunting for the Do Not Disturb sign for the door (I’m one of those people who hates the idea of people coming into my room while I’m not there. Or even while I AM there. Either scenario, do not want. I’m never there long enough to need fresh towels anyway so housekeeping can just SIT DOWN).

I HAD to make use of the four sheets and two envelopes so I put out a call for volunteers on Twitter. Tara of Bite the Bedbugs and Jaimie of Grumbles and Grunts volunteered and at least one of their letters were written under the influence of some mighty fine margaritas courtesy of Chili’s. I think it was Jaimie. Sorry about that! Unless it made sense/was funny in which case you’re welcome!

Anyway, I love writing letters and sending post cards (even though I discovered the hard way that the physical act of writing them leads to hand cramps. Dammed keyboard! Look what you’ve done!).

And so, dear reader, I would like to get into the habit of sending out more (1) in order to get back into the habit of writing by hand and, 2) because old school mail is bitchin`).

Who doesn’t like getting postcards? Amirite?

So, if you wanna be pen pals/receive one of these loverly postcards in your mail box, send me an e-mail at yesthisisjam (at) gmail [dot] com with a mailing address and I’ll sen YOU a (hopefully) witty/charming/potentially drunken handwritten message on a postcard with Humphrey Bogart’s dashing visage on it* in return!

Because I mean, really, what else am I going to do with a bunch of postcards taped to the back of my closet door?

What?

IT’S ART.

(I also solemnly swear to not stalk you or sell your info to creepy people. Canadians have especially potent guilty consciences. The more you know!)

*Not true. There’s only one postcard with Humphrey Bogart’s dashing visage on it. So only one of you is getting one. Sorry about that.