Jam: Coming to an America near you

18 Jun

This is not a real post. Well, it IS I guess, if you need to get all technical and shit (geeze, always with the getting technical and shit. When will you learn to LIVE a little?)

I’m feeling pretty guilty about the fact that I haven’t had the time this week to toss up the posts I’ve written (oh, that’s right, I’ve WRITTEN them, I has haven’t sat down infront of my computer long enough/I’m too lazy to take a minute to copy and past. I get it, ok? I’M A BAD BLOGGER WHO LOVES CAPSLOCK AND PARENTHESES). I also just reinstalled the WordPress Blackberry app and even though it used to hate me, I’m willing to give it another try if it means that blogging will be that much easier. Hear that WordPress Blackberry app? Let’s learn to love each other again – FOR THE READERS.


So Boyfriend and I are heading down to the US of A in a couple of weeks. It’s Canada Day, you see, and because we’re both so Canadian it hurts EVERY DAY of the year, this long weekend seemed like as good a time as any to take a mini vacation.

Ok, so there’s also some business that’s bringing us down there but eff if we’re going to go all the way down there for ONE DAY on our LONG WEEKEND. So we’re making a holiday out of it.

The problem is that it’s also the 4th of July long weekend and my mom’s American friends have convinced her that if we go down on the long weekend, we will die. Or at least not be able to find a hotel for our stay.

She and I spent most of last night batting the subject back and forth.

“What are you going to do if you get down there and all the hotels are booked up, hmm?”


“No, really, what? Sleep in your car?”



So she demanded that we book the hotel now just to be on the safe side. Yes, I know that this is the logical thing to do. We were planning on booking hotel rooms in advance, just not RIGHT THIS MINUTE. My general apathy towards the whole thing just stressed her out, which in turn stressed me out. I guess I had it coming.

(Also, almost all of my travel is spontaneous. Pre-planning stresses me out. Like, what if something happens and we don’t end up going? THOSE ROOMS ARE NON-REFUNDABLE)

Boyfriend was just making matters worse with his inability to focus long enough to help me come up with a plan.

“My new computer is fucking wiiiiicked!”


“Did I tell you what our director did this time? He’s a PSYCHO.”

“I’m sorry to hear this. Can we finish sorting out the trip?”

“Did you hear that there’s a Vuvuzela iPhone app? That’s a good way to get your ASS KICKED.”


(Editor’s note: He never did focus)

By the end of the night I was so stressed that I started second guessing everything: life, mortality, the cosmos…. But mostly just the trip.

I am BROKE. I am so busy! I don’t have the time for this! What made me think a vacation was a good idea? BALLS

So I finally said FUCK IT and went to bed instead.

But now it’s tomorrow and after having slept and had the time to cool down and think it over (the fact that I ALSO just had the most AMAZING massage ever doesn’t hurt either), I’ve realize that all of those reasons are exactly WHY I should be getting away for a few days.

Ok, maybe not the being broke part. But whatever.

The truth is, I am SO stressed. Money, my family, working nonstop – aren’t those the sort of things that drive people into needing holidays in the first place?

I NEED a vacation.

Now not only is the trip on, but I’m really starting to lookforward to it too.

So watch your back, America.

Uh, please and thank you.


2 Responses to “Jam: Coming to an America near you”

  1. Dawn June 18, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    woohoo! My vacation starts today and we’re leaving tomorrow with no definite plans. This surely means that I will cause embarassment and mayhem all the way to the East Coast. I’ll let you know how the non-planning thing goes, but the forecast is drunken revelry and merriment here in the States. So, welcome and throw your plans away. Ya just don’t need them here.


  1. Jam in America: Partie Deux « - July 7, 2010

    […] the epic road trip/American vacation/Canadian invasion that was our four day stint in DC has come to an end. For all the stressing I did leading up to it (and for approximately the first […]

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